


oh but life will pass us by

by pimmingswool



Category: Degrassi, Degrassi High, Degrassi Junior High
Genre: F/M, felt so suiting, i couldnt resist this one, i love angst and it just, idk i've avoided this ship for a while bc i'm really into other caitlin relationships these days but
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-22
Updated: 2016-11-22
Packaged: 2018-09-01 14:14:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8627698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pimmingswool/pseuds/pimmingswool
Summary: the days are fleeting, everything is. life is fleeting, love is fleeting happiness is fleeting; only one thing seems to linger, the inevitable demise everyone finds themselves faced with.





	

Caitlin Ryan had never been particularly easy to read.  
Her mood was constantly wavering, that Joey Jeremiah could figure out.  
But he could never tell just what her mood was shifting into, was she mad, happy, sad, something else? It was beyond him. Her lips and facial expressions never seemed to alter, more so the tone in her voice and gestures she found herself making. A spastic flick of one hand while the other one violently brushed through her hair, a crack of her knuckles as she found herself awaiting some food at some overpriced restaurant her father had dragged her into, the quick shaking of her legs as she got invested in a new book.  
Mere signs that most people would have overlooked, but they were as much as Joey was capable of reading.  
Because Caitlin Ryan had never been particularly easy to read.  
Or, perhaps, Joey had just been daft and was blind to intuition, unaware of the feelings of anyone around him.  
So it was strange, sitting here in the trunk of his car, a few inches away from Caitlin. Strange because she wasn't flicking one hand while the other brushed through her hair, she wasn't cracking her knuckles, her legs remained still, limply hanging over the trunk of Joey's car. Her shoulders slumped, her eyes hazy as she gazed at the sky that had been illuminated in an array of stars.  
"Y'know, I like stars and all, they're pretty, I like them. But one thing I've never understood were constellations." Joey was determined to break the silence, get a word out of the seemingly apathetic girl that perched next to him, "Not sure how anyone expects me to see a picture of a lion out of what? A bunch of balls of gas?"  
Caitlin took a sip of her Coca-Cola and rested it next to her, "I dunno, I've never been particularly good with constellations myself, or anything dealing with stars I suppose. Melanie's really into astrology though, I honestly just learned that I'm a Pisces no less than a month ago."  
"Pisces, eh? Isn't that like a fish? I'm a Leo, pretty proud of it actually, I'm a lion y'know? A king." Joey's voice was glazed in pride as these words escaped his lips.  
Caitlin smiled, which Joey was grateful for, relieved to get something out of her, "Yeah, Pisces is a fish, a bit boring but hey, so am I." her head rolled against her neck, causing a crackling noise.  
"I don't think you're boring." Joey said, a bit unsure of just the right words to say, "I think you're one of the most interesting people I've met.  
Caitlin laughed, not in a chortle or anything, more so just a fake laugh of acknowledgement, "Thanks."  
"I mean it," Joey enforced, fists clenched.  
Caitlin smiled and nodded, eyes glued to the sky once again. She looked at it like it was an intricate painting. Splatters of blues and blacks that encapsulated the canvas that they had called Earth that these two had found themselves living on. Spiraling clouds and glistening starlight illuminating them. Joey continued pondering this; realizing that this Earth was a massive canvas that he could have found himself living anywhere on.  
But here he was, next to this girl, this very very unreadable girl that made his heart spin and clench, that opened a gateway for butterflies to enter his stomach. This girl was every drop on a rollercoaster, she was the goosebumps that clenched onto his skin when he opened the front door to his house in the bitter cold, she was a flame that had originated on a small candlestick that erupted into a wildfire, destroying everything in her path with warmth and radiance.  
It was strange, really, because this girl was everything to him, but the more time that dripped away as he sat with her the less he knew her and it hurt. He'd managed to fool himself into believing that the portion of her that he'd seen was who she was entirely, but she was so much more than that.

She was a human puzzle waiting to be solved, but seeming impossible to solve because pieces were missing and Joey wasn't sure where to find them.  
"I like this," she'd stated, inhaling deeply and exhaling softly, "I'd like my funeral to be on a day just like this."  
Joey jumped a bit when those words escaped her mouth,his hand quickly grasping onto hers, "Let's not talk about that, okay?"  
Caitlin smiled, her cheeks fading into a strawberry shade as she looked at her hands that had been constricted my Joey's, "Odd how that of all things is taboo. I was just saying it’s nice, wouldn’t mind my final…” her voice trailed off, she’d clearly found herself lost in a new thought.  
Joey stared at her with imploring eyes, hungry eyes, eyes of a wolf that had been starving for a long time.  
“Death’s inevitable; it hits us at random times, no use in avoiding talking about it. As far as I, or even you know, either of us could die, right now. On the spot.” She’d said, her eyes looking from one star to another.  
“Well I sure hope neither of us dies right now. Caitlin are you alright?” Joey’s eyebrows furrowed, it was out of character for her to be so, morbid?  
“Yeah it’s just, Claude just kinda taught me that our death is the one eternal thing we have. Everything else dies, and death keeps going and-“  
Joey was confused by what she was saying, his mind was too clogged with worry to try and unscramble all of these words about dying and life and life dying but death living forever, his mind couldn’t take it, all he wanted was this girl to be happy.  
“That’s why we should make the most of what we have now,” Joey murmured, voice hushed, “what we have is fleeting, what we have is precious, and we should make the most of it before it escapes us.”  
Caitlin sighed, “Kind of like raising a pig for slaughter right? We get ourselves happy only for it to go away.”  
Joey shook his head “if you think of it like that, happiness isn’t going to come to you to begin with, if you keep worrying about death, you’re going to lose time to live a little.”  
Caitlin’s eyes watered, it was the first time Joey had seen such a shift in her face all night, she’s whipped around and threw herself around Joey, her arms tight against Joey’s neck, buried in his skin. “I don’t want to lose you,” she croaked.  
He stroked her back, the silky fabric of her blouse soothing against his finger tips. “I’m not going anywhere, and neither are you.”  
“We will, some day.” Caitlin said, sobbing.  
“We aren’t now.”  
“I don’t want to ever.”  
“We won’t.”  
“Joey, you’re the only thing keeping my grounded at this point.”  
“And I’ll continue to stay here until time erases me.”  
She didn’t reply, just broken noises of her weeping, still cradled in Joey’s arms.  
“Caitlin?”  
“Yeah?” she maneuvered her face out of his skin to get a look at him, he was smiling, and he had taken his fedora off. Caitlin was grateful for that, she wouldn’t have minded if that disappeared.  
“You know how I told you I couldn’t see anything in the stars? Like constellations and stuff?” he inquired, but not truly curious because he knew she remembered, this girl could remember things from before she was born, nothing escaped her mind.  
She nodded, wiping the tears off of her cheeks.  
“Well I see one now, and it wasn’t even hard to see.” He boasted with a beaming smile.  
“Yeah? And where might it be?” she asked, surprised to hear him taking an interest in the sky.  
“Well, it’s not a constellation, just a pretty star, and I’m staring at it right now.” He said, his eyes not lifting from her.  
She frowned, “Thanks Joey, you got me excited over some cheesy pickup line.”  
He grinned, “You know you liked it, It was good!” he playfully prodded her in the ribcage.  
“Good? Okay if you say so.” She was beaming, giggling even, she was glowing with happiness and Joey had given it to her.  
Caitlin wasn’t easy to read.  
But at that moment, at that blessed and fading moment.  
She was an open book.


End file.
